Thursday, December 23, 2010

"Your mom's a warrior."

I'm writing this on my phone, individually typing each letter with my index finger. If something comes out strangely, I'm blaming it on auto-correct. Http://damnyouautocorrect.com/ If I knew how to link that in via phone I would have..

Here it is, another entry about my mom.

She was mugged last week. The guy beat her up a little and ended up taking her bag. She is having trouble sleeping and my sisters, dad and I are trying to be accommodating to her needs.

Here's the thing.. While we understand that she needs a little extra tlc right now, Queen Bee Kim is taking it a little far. When the phone rings she has one of us answer it to tell the caller what happened and to "try her cell phone because she is at the hospital." Of course when she answers her phone, her voice is a smidge quieter and more shaky than 5 seconds prior. Her neck brace and sling come off at home. And we are all spending this holiday season as an entourage of chauffeurs and nurses.

In all of this, I am amazed by and wonder where my dad's patience comes from. It almost borderlines "enabler"--everytime my mom blinks her eyes for one demand or another, he's right there taking care of her. He literally cuts up my mom's meat for her.

I feel like the last bit needs background. During the assault she tried to bite off the dude's finger (when I heard this I applauded her and now understand her appreciation for UFC fights) so her teeth have been bothering her. She drives me crazy but I do admit that I admire her feistiness and the fact that she tried to mangle the jerk. Apparently he was an intimidatingly big guy.

The officer who helped my mom stopped by to check on her. He said at first he was worried the blood all over her was hers and then he realized it was his and he gave her props. She may look small, but this lady is a tough nugget.

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Monday, December 20, 2010

Whoda thunk it

1. I doubt that it works this well, but wouldn't this be fun?



2. I want to raise my kids in Japan just so that I can see them draw out 10123091283 x 987512391820391 on a giant sheet of paper. Stop whining, count your dots.



3. Public Health didn't even make it onto this chart. Now I know how I was accepted into grad school. From Discover Magazine.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Hi, can you show me your sausage?

I have always loved the image of the girl walking down the street with a bag of groceries (paper, obvi) precariously balanced in her arms while she struggles to find her keys as she gets to her apartment door. I'm pretty sure the reason why I live in a city is so I can play the recurring role of Girl with Paper Bag Groceries. I always buy the damn carrots just so that I can have them sticking out the top. In Brussels it was the baguette. And now I feel like I should run into the street, twirl, and throw my hat into the air. I might just make it, afterall.

If you're looking for some nice eye candy while you're grocery shopping, go to Falletti's. I don't know who does the hiring there, but I take my time at the meat counter whenever I go there. I'm not trying to be cute. Seriously, the men behind the meat counter are all really hot. I curse myself whenever I stop in there b/c I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the glass of the frozen foods section and 9/10 times, I look a hot mess. I'm not imagining the hot factor either--all the people I've asked agree that Falletti's has got some good-looking staff. Come to think of it, I don't know if I've ever seen an ugly customer there, either. Falletti's is this weird bizarro world where everyone looks like James Franco and buys organic. Heaven.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

At night I sleep with my blankets over my face so I can suffocate myself in warmth.

I'm wearing my Korean faux Victoria's Secret velour track pants (which are faux Juicy Couture velour track pants), men's socks that are too big for my feet, my favorite hoodie with hood up, while under the covers of my bed. I'm freezing. Earlier in the day I burritoed myself in a down throw on the couch, hovering over my cup of tea, while sending out emails. This really makes me want to invest some dinero in a Snuggie. Yes, I did just link that. Don't be embarrassed to click on it. You know you want one.

I think I never really warmed up from this morning's shower. Damn it, I hate it when you have to keep adjusting the water temperature while showering because by the time you rinse the conditioner out of your hair, the water's turned bloody cold. I try to keep reminding myself that hot showers are a luxury and stop bitching, Nora. But f me, whenever that happens I spend the rest of the day intermittently shivering without control.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to thank all of the geese who have sacrificed their feathers so that we could stuff them into North Face jackets and comforters.

***

Just a little update. My roommate finally found the I-think-I-can littlest space heater I have ever seen that's been hiding in my closet. The sound of that tiny hobbit of a heater hissing away to warm up my frostbitten toes is the most beautiful sound I have heard in a very long time. Tonight I slumber.

***

Another update. BAH I forgot that when it gets cold, my nose freaks out and I get nosebleeds. I have a wad of Kleenex stuffed up my nostril right now. In high school, every morning when I hopped into the shower, my nose would start bleeding like clockwork. Whatthehell.