Sunday, November 25, 2012

Day 6 of my eight-day Chicago stay.

This was my first trip in ten years to celebrate Thanksgiving at home, and any intent to steer clear of gluten or dairy was promptly set aside the minute I set foot in the city. Oh well.

As I'm sure you've all noticed with your parents or relatives, mine have adopted some interesting behaviors since the house emptied out.

For example, in the shower is a bottle of shampoo from Pantene's Relaxed & Natural line, which "gently cleanses African-American hair without over-drying." My guess is that my Dad picked that one up. I call him the Enabler because he allows my Mom to get away with some very pampered behavior.  Earlier this evening she was laying in bed and her cell phone rang. Did she stir? Of course not. My Dad stopped doing the dishes, ran with her purse from the kitchen to their bedroom, and handed it to her.

Speaking of phones ringing, my parents have installed phones in the kitchen, living room, their bedroom, and one in the family room. (My house is not big). While they have figured out how to turn up the phones to full volume, they have yet to sync up the ringtones. So despite the abundance of phones around the house, absolute chaos ensues anytime someone calls because four different songs are playing at full blast until someone answers the phone.

I am just also amazed by the quantity of food in this house. Twenty minutes and two exasperated outbursts from yours truly later, I was finally able to Tetris in a bottle of orange juice, two packages of Brussels sprouts, and a half gallon of milk. I took a picture of the inside of the refrigerator to show you how much food my Mom keeps for a household of two people. Keep in mind that they have another refrigerator just for their kimchi.

Suburbia scares me.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Who gives a shit where (politician/actor/sportsball player) put his dong*, and why is it taking over national headlines? That is all.

*unless that would be in or around a minor, or other related heinous offenses. In those instances, castration is one solution that I think is quite appropriate.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Koreans are scary.

I rarely watch scary movies because I'm one of those individuals who replays images in their heads, re-scares themselves, and then ducks under the covers to hide (which only makes it worse, btw). Nonetheless, for Halloween, my roommate and I watched a CREEPY Korean movie called A Tale of Two Sisters. Why are my people so good at making messed up movies?!? I only saw 70% because I was covering my face with a blanket through most of it. Actually, make that 60%. For a good portion, I wasn't even facing the screen, and only glanced at it through my peripheral vision. I'm a big baby - I am owning this.

Anyway, I thereafter realized my missed opportunity. I have an appointment tonight to cut off my hair. Right now it's halfway down my back, and by tonight, I will look like a 7-year-old boy. After watching the movie, I saw that I have all the makings for a Korean movie ghost: long creepy hair, bitchface, and glaring eyes. The only thing I need is a white gown. This almost makes me want to keep my hair for Halloween 2013.

I searched for some images on Google for those of you who may not be familiar with the Korean gwishin. I happened to find one of me at work on a good day.