Thursday, August 4, 2011

Man cannot live by bread alone.

Saturday morning, after feasting on a delicious brunch from our friend Caroline's new food truck, Brunch Box, Meena and I popped her Tartine croissant cherry on our way to see the Picasso exhibit at the De Young. On the way there, I declared that I want the man equivalent of a Tartine croissant. Let's call him Henri. Yes! How amazing: after Henri I always enjoy blissful thought-wandering and daydreaming induced by utter indulgence. Now is when you envision a scene from a black and white movie: a bedroom; in the background doors open on a balcony overlooking le Tour Eiffel; a woman in bed; smoke curling from the cigarette in her hand.

But, as irresistible as he is, Henri is also incredibly flakey, soft in the middle, high maintenance, there is always a long line, and the price just went up. He is pretty much the worst of the worst and the last person I would want to date. In a moment of weakness or if I need a boost, sure, why not. Everyone needs a little tune up to make sure everything is still in working condition. But as much as I'd like to indulge, I've had enough Henri's in my day to know that once in awhile is plenty.

Anyway, this started quite the amusing "if you had to pick a bread to represent your ideal man, what would it be?" conversations:

Meena: Corn dog. Meaty inside with a nice firm tan coating.
Catherine: Maybe a twinkie. Nothing you can live on, full of bad things that are delicious, perfect for the occasional indulgence, best when deep fried to golden, brown, and delicious.
Susannah: Pretzel. Tan, firm, and it's diamond-studded. (I voted neg on that one, because that sounds way too Jersey Shore.)
Lillian: Sourdough. Good foundation for sandwiches, tasty, and looks good.
Natalie: Whole wheat sourdough. B/c I like em browner. Sourdough has a little twang to it, a little bit of edge/something different. It can come in many forms: short and squat, or long and tall. But really, I'm pretty equal opportunity as long as you're hot.
Frances: I think it would be this Chinese bread: Hua Juan. It's in layers and rolled up, hence this multidimensional concept, which I want in a guy. And there are bits of spring onion in it, for some kick. And it's rich--can be oily--but also filling, and very satisfying. There are also different variations that can be a teeny bit sweet, like have a hint of sweetness--that's the one thing I would want more of--but the way it's shaped makes me choose it.

Photo on the right.

As for myself, I've reconsidered. I have to go with a multi-grain bread. A little nutty, always fulfilling, you can dress it up--one day for a fancy sandwich, but it doesn't mind slumming it as a PBJ, and reliable.