Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Where the hell do you find a bathing suit?

When you haven't been anticipating the need to get beach-body ready, the prospect of running around 95% naked is a little.. unnerving. I had to rummage through my drawers a little, but I found every bathing suit or bikini that I've had since high school, including a Speedo that no one above the age of 9 should attempt to wear. When did I think I was going to be a competitive swimmer?

The problem is that in the last couple of years, my child-bearing hips have been eagerly anticipating birthing something. I almost want to have x-rays taken of my hips to make sure there isn't something amiss. Are you supposed to have your hips protrude out twice? And thank you, Google, for I now know what a "saddlebag" is. I wish my birth control would tell them that they don't need to do that, so please hold off for, oh.. 5 years?

Anyway, I’m kind of lost on where to get a new one, how not to spend $100 (Have they gotten more expensive?! Why do I not remember them being so pricey?), and what shape to even buy. I want something that covers, so maybe this?

I showed these to Karen who told me, "if a man still wants to see you after you wear one of those, he's the guy for you." Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

My Mother again.

For starters, I've changed the title of this blog. My intent was to redesign it as well and do a whole big Tada! but.. meh.

The reason for the change is that for the past year, I've been lying. I have been seeing a therapist, and praise Allah, he's fantastic. If you have ever wondered about what it might be like, go find one, spill your beans, and let the magic happen.

The other reason for the change is that the more I discuss my life happenings with friends, the more we are convinced that my life is Made-for-TV. And because I cannot explain how and why am I such a mess, I'm just going blame it on my Koreanness, and that my people have a penchant for the dramatics.

Case in point: the New Year's phone call from my mother:

Mom: Good morning, Yuree. Happy New Year!
Me: Hi umma, Happy New Year!
Mom: Hm, I'm sorry you woke up alone. You must be lonely.
Me: ...
Mom: Don't worry, good things will happen this year.
Me: Yes, I'm sure they will. I'm gonna go now.
Mom: Okay, byeee! I lub you.