Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Does this mean I have to change my Blog title?

I still can't afford a therapist, but I've come to a decision that I could (should) see one. My friends, of course, have been the first line of defense against the crazies. In fact, Julia just talked me out of a potential "why did I do that" moment about an hour ago. Oy, how do I even manage to dress myself every morning?

I've always said that my friends are the rational me when I'm overrun by so-called feelings. I hate those. But there comes a time when your friends, who are undoubtedly overrun by their own feelings on occasion, will get sick of your quirky-but-redundant neuroses. Not that anyone has said anything recently, but my friends would probably appreciate the time off while I consult an outsider's perspective. And besides, when a therapist calls bullshit, you can't discount what they say because you never saw them stumble in drunk one night after having peed herself in the cab because she "couldn't hold it in." Not one of my friends, but I assure you that has happened.

Secondly, a therapist obviously has some insight (drugs) and knowledge (drugs) beyond the life experience of your friends. I kid about the drugs. I just want to touch base with a therapist to make sure that I'm conscious of what's going on around and with me, and work on anything that I might be holding onto. In a way it's like my yoga practice. Some days I work out the tension in my body and I feel incredible, and other days I can barely touch my toes. But after an intense and sweaty session, my skin glows the following day and I feel more stable. I still have a long way to go, but it's nice to create a foundation to build onto.

With all that said, I've started a search for a therapist, and so far it's been terrible. I don't know what my insurance covers, the different types of therapy, who/what I would benefit from--those are just a few of the many questions I've come across. There has to be a better way...

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