See you at the Max

Who remembers this? "I'm so excited! I'm so excited!! I'm so.. I'm so scarreeeddd!!!" Oh, Jessie. (Who, btw, is uh... busy)

Children of the '90s, feast your eyes on this gem:

Sorry for the lack of posts, my brain has given up.

I am running at half capacity. My daily ritual consists of waking up at 11, turning on the Food Network for background noise, bothering friends at work on GChat, leaving the house for some forced exercise, then returning home to cook dinner and a few Law & Order episodes. Not to mention shopping for clothes I don't need nor should be spending money on. (But I found a white suit for $28.. $28! And shoes for $7. And I got a $100 dress for $36. And shirts for $7! This is why I blow my budget every month.)

Summer won't be like this for too long though. When my health law class is over at the end of June, I'm packing things up and heading out of Boston. After that I'm heading to DC for a few weeks, then out to LA to visit Lillian (AND eat at Mozza!), back to DC to get ready to drive to Louisville with Jeff, up to Chicago where I'll get to see my parents, go SKYDIVING at Skydive Chicago, and hopefully attend my friend, Eugenia's wedding, off to Manila until December, then Korea in Jan!

I have no idea where life will take me in 2010...

Tribute to Beef Jerky

I know what you must be thinking: Really? Beef jerky? Those dried out tooth-busting strips of shoe leather? My dad introduced my sisters and I to this oral festivus when we were young and it's stayed in my heart ever since. Not the most sophisticated of culinary treats, no. Mind you, this is the same man who fed his children cans of corned beef hash and corn for breakfast. (The "corn" in "corned beef hash" was a natural cue to combine the two in his mind.) But jerky's salty, it's chewy, portable.. Awesome.

A week ago I ordered 2 lbs of World Kitchens Old Fashioned Beef Jerky from Amazon. I finished it in less than a week. I've gotten over my self-disgust and am officially craving the salty crack again. What's a girl to do? Order more, of course.

This time I got Old Fashioned, Brown Sugar, and Hot and Spicy.

The shitty umbrella monopoly

Why do stores sell shitty umbrellas?? I've wasted too much money on stupid umbrellas that, without fail, end up in a trash can after I've battled with it for four blocks on sprightly New England days.

It's not like you can avoid them. Trust me, I'm that idiot in the middle of the store opening them, swinging them around, shaking them.. But it's not like you can recreate gale-force winds inside a CVS. And those bastards lure you with the "wind-proof" double vent (doesn't work), a release button that opens the umbrella for you (for the truly lazy), and ones that are so small you're able to stick it in your bag and take it with you anywhere (four blocks to the nearest trash can).

Sure, you can avoid it all and lug a giant golf umbrella down the sidewalk. But I'm 5'1" (5'2" on a good day) and those things are longer than my legs. If I carried one with me and opened it up on a windy day I'd be Mary Poppins'ed into traffic and Mass Ave roadkill.

Listen, umbrella-makers of the world: I understand you're making money hand-over-fist by continuing to put worthless pieces of crap in your stores. But do consumers and landfills a favor and give us something that actually works.

Makes me proud to be Korean

First came kimchee and bulgogi. Then Pinkberry and the korean taco truck. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the next Korean sensation: Ely Kim.

Ely, if I ever see you on a dance floor, I'm going to hurt myself or pop a button trying to keep up. But damnit I'm going to try.

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

Phonebook entries of a senior citizen

On a recent visit with my boyfriend to his grandmother's condo in New Jersey, we spent a few minutes together flipping through her phone book. The findings were terrific.

Of course, you had your expected entries: children, grandchildren, cousins, friends, the synagogue, Medicare. But the true gems were the following:

Chicken of the Sea Tuna: (800) 456-1511

Golden Blintz: (732) 364-4100

KMart: 731-8210

Manischewitz Co.: (201) 333-3700

I miss my halmunee.

Craigslist never led me astray. Until it brought me my roommates.

I really don't think that I'm an uptight roommate. There are general rules of conduct, right? Keep common areas clean, buy paper towels every once in awhile--it's not rocket science. But apparently for my current roommates, it is. Exhibits A, B, and C:

A: The door: They either neglect to lock the door when they leave or are locked out. More than once, at 2AM (naturally when bars close), I have awoken to drunken screaming of my name and banging on the the front door.

B: The trash: Try taking it out some time. The little triangle? It's called recycling.

C: BACON EVERY MORNING. Ok, this is a personal judgement call. But seriously, I wake up to the smell of bacon every morning. I might be the weird one here who doesn't like bacon but fortheloveofgod at least turn on the fan.

My friends have heard all the stories. If you guys are sick of hearing my complaints, I'm sorry. I just have this one last vent: I spent the last half hour cleaning out the nastiest, most fully developed, mushroom-like fungus in a jar of cheese sauce. Maybe I'm being a little elitist here, but who the hell buys jarred cheese sauce? Well, I guess it would be the same person who buys a bigass block of Velveeta (She must have liked that much more b/c that disappeared a long time ago.) Anyway, this is the worst I've ever seen refrigerator fungus. Sure, every once in awhile you see the little black fuzzy spots, get grossed out, and toss it. This looked like it came out of the coral reef--it had ridges, colors, folds.. ohmygod.

I've been spoiled with awesome roommates in the past. Froman, we really do need to live within three miles of each other. This is horrible. Screnci, I miss the days when we cut bathroom shelves with steak knives.  Reza, no one here understands my immigrant jokes.