Sunday, May 9, 2010

Please keep me accountable.

Such a double-edged sword, this technology. More often than not, yes, technology is great. But the little things, the heated debates over the names of the last five Secretaries of State*, Pam Anderson's cup size** (this actually came up at dinner last night), or just exactly how to spell and pronounce the name of that pesky Icelandic volcano***. Mysteries in life are solved with the flash of an iPhone. Debate is healthy, fun! This generation is going to lose the ability to reach back into the recesses of our brains where 9th grade social studies is tucked away, and recall actual facts shoved in there. We're going to have hearing problems from the earbuds constantly shoved into our heads, carpal tunnel from the excessive amount of texting, and lose all concept of social interaction. Jane Austen would be appalled.

Here's my other problem with technology and this overly connected world via cell phones and the Internet: Stalking. That nasty little habit of Googling his or her name as soon as you find out a detail, any detail about a person. You don't even need a last name anymore, Good Lord. Stop Googling, people! Savor those first few dates and relish in the get-to-know-you moments before friending him on Facebook reveals that Charlie belongs to a Twilight fan club. And I hate deciphering text messages and im's, and having to ask my girlfriends what he really means by this, and it's been 3 hours, why hasn't he responded--was my last message too clingy?? Ugh.

From this point forward, I will NOT preemptively stalk a person so that I can get to know them the old-fashioned way. I can't promise not to go crazy over misinterpreted texts and ims--I need a little fuel to fire my neuroses. But the stalking, I will really make an effort. No más, lo prometo.

*H. Clinton, C. Rice, C. Powell, M. Albright, W. Christopher. Yes, I had to look up Warren Christopher.
**We aren't sure whether this is pre or post latest boob job, but reports say DD.
***Eyjafjallajokull: "AY-yah-fyah-lah-YOH-kuul"

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