Craigslist never led me astray. Until it brought me my roommates.

I really don't think that I'm an uptight roommate. There are general rules of conduct, right? Keep common areas clean, buy paper towels every once in awhile--it's not rocket science. But apparently for my current roommates, it is. Exhibits A, B, and C:

A: The door: They either neglect to lock the door when they leave or are locked out. More than once, at 2AM (naturally when bars close), I have awoken to drunken screaming of my name and banging on the the front door.

B: The trash: Try taking it out some time. The little triangle? It's called recycling.

C: BACON EVERY MORNING. Ok, this is a personal judgement call. But seriously, I wake up to the smell of bacon every morning. I might be the weird one here who doesn't like bacon but fortheloveofgod at least turn on the fan.

My friends have heard all the stories. If you guys are sick of hearing my complaints, I'm sorry. I just have this one last vent: I spent the last half hour cleaning out the nastiest, most fully developed, mushroom-like fungus in a jar of cheese sauce. Maybe I'm being a little elitist here, but who the hell buys jarred cheese sauce? Well, I guess it would be the same person who buys a bigass block of Velveeta (She must have liked that much more b/c that disappeared a long time ago.) Anyway, this is the worst I've ever seen refrigerator fungus. Sure, every once in awhile you see the little black fuzzy spots, get grossed out, and toss it. This looked like it came out of the coral reef--it had ridges, colors, folds.. ohmygod.

I've been spoiled with awesome roommates in the past. Froman, we really do need to live within three miles of each other. This is horrible. Screnci, I miss the days when we cut bathroom shelves with steak knives.  Reza, no one here understands my immigrant jokes.