We are confirmed. Men are idiots.

My life in Gchats

Catherine: i want to hold this dog in one hand
and the sleeping bunny in the other

   

Catherine: and the power from their proximity will generate an unbelievable rainbow
from which the unicorn of change will emerge

me: hahahahaha
Catherine: and this unicorn
NAY
THIS GOD

me: NAY
i like it
good use
Catherine: WILL GIVE US JOBS
haha. put that little monologue on your blog
me: LOL
Catherine: INSPIRATIONAL!

No, thanks. I'm on a "diet."

My friend, Norene, and I were just having a conversation about being broke and the things we've had to do/give up as a result. I'm going into penny-pincher mode, so my meals now are going to be "creative." Case in point, I just made up a concoction of rice, baked beans, and Sriracha. Oddly enough, it tasted like this one Korean dish called kimchi jjigae--all it was missing were slices of hot dog. (We're talking the ghetto man-version of kimchi jjigae that my dad would make us.) I have to say, not one of the prouder moments in my culinary life, but it wasn't like I had to choke it down. I kind of enjoyed it.

Norene's tightening up the purse strings too:

norene: i know
when i was in hawaii, i knew i would come back not having enough money for my own expenses
not enough to do laundry
so i took some coins from my mom
me: HAHAHA
oh noooo
norene: and brought towels back
norene: starving for lunch, accepting friends' leftovers
norene: not saying anything when a coworker asks "do you want anything from the cafe?"
eating nuts that were supposed to be a gift, but eating them yourself
hahhaah, dammit!
......

norene: oh well. maybe this is the perfect time to fast?
me: no, b/c even then you'd have to get those damn lemons
this is when i'll learn about "portion control" so i can make one meal into two
hahahaah
norene: mannn
or only eat brunch or lunch/dinner
me: that's prob why i wake up so late now. my mind is telling me "you can avoid having three meals if you wake up at 11"
norene: exactly, then sleep early
......
norene: at least i know i'll have free breakfast at the farmer's market
norene: u can never get enough free fruit samples
norene: i do it EVERY wed
they still haven't caught on
hahaa
ohhh and sometimes there'll be companies that give out sample bars
like a few weeks ago, they were giving free granola bars
freaking saved me

The last person I fit was Johnny, 38C

He wanted a bra to complete his drag outfit. Johnny, your "boobs" looked awesome.

I resigned yesterday. My life as a bra fitter is over. My life as a hobo is just beginning.

What Loveliness

And yes, they have more! Pomplamoose Music

I probably need an actual therapist

Have you ever met a Korean mother? Not the quirky-but-loveable version that Margaret Cho does impressions of. I'm talking--behind closed doors, [insert luxury car name] keys thrown on the counter, golf glove and visor peeled off revealing a fresh perm and/or tattooed eyebrows--Korean mother.

Messieurs et Mesdames: Ma Mère

In January, when I had just gotten to Seoul from Manila, my mom called to inform me that a very nice boy from a good family, "Harbard" grad, who is tall (all clearly essential qualities in a future mate, you see) was coming to Korea and I'm going on a blind date with him. No, not "do you want to," but "you are going on a date with him." I refused. What was she going to do to me? Skype me to death? To appease her, I told her the next time I'm in Chicago, she could set up the date.

I was just there at the end of August. My mom and her steel trap mind clung to my words for holy matrimony and set up the date. "Wear a dress and heels, do your hair and makeup, and if you're fat right now, lose some weight. You're going on your date." WHAT? Are you serious?? Straight from the airport, I was taken to dinner with him, my parents, his parents, and his aunt. Awkward.

The next day she tells me his parents thought I was oh-so-wonderful and they approve. However, the guy told his mom, who told my mom, who told me, (do see how this is immensely awkward and why moms should never meddle in their kids' love lives?) I seemed like I didn't want to be there and wasn't very interested when we had our alone-time after the meal. Perceptive, isn't he? Then my mom informs me she's giving them my email address so that he and I can start dating. Excuse me? What? I told her aside from everything else wrong with this picture, I live in SF and he's in Chicago. I do not do long distance. "Oh, that's ok. I found you a job here. I'll pay off the rest of your rent--you're moving back to Chicago."

I'm not even making any of this up. I wish I were. She called me to tell me another family "showed interest." I feel like I'm being auctioned off.

Ms. Natalie

"i think boys are like taxis. when they want to be in a committed relationship they put their light on and whoever flags them down first gets in and it's like "game on." and sometimes it's a long trip to an airport, and other times it's just going a few blocks b/c it's raining."

gentlemen, she also cooks: www.ommadelife.com